Monday, October 22, 2007

On havin' a baby

Yep, I know I have been bombarding this blog with my hopes of having a baby. So for those who are wondering why we do not have a baby yet (for 6 years now), here is the story...


Just like with other trying to conceive wives out there, I had my share of getting frustrated every month since I have regular periods. You just can't imagine how I cried while hugging hubby and telling him that we failed again. And year after year, it pains us even more when we would hear relatives and friends asking "o, wala pang baby? si ~name~ inunahan ka pa." That even became worse when we decided to finally do some fertility work ups.


That was 2 years ago that we decided to go and see a fertility expert. Hubby complied with the test that was needed. I, on the other hand was found out to have retroverted uterus. No problem really with the position of my uterus, kahit retroverted pa, pwedeng mabuntis. I took fertility pills then. First cycle, I took Clomid. That did not work. Second cycle, I took Clomid still but with added dosage. All I can remember is that for these 2 cycles, I learned how to shop for pregnancy test kits. Oh, you could have seen my stash of pregnancy test kits. I would not settle for just one test just to make sure that I get the true result. But thinking about it now, I am not really after the true result but the result that we wanted-syempre, positive dapat.


Third cycle, I took Arimidex. Also, my OB said that I could have endometriosis. That is just her impression with all the symptoms that I have given her. Endometriosis would only be confirmed with a laparoscopy. During this cycle, on my 24th day I had spotting. I immediately went to my OB and she said that it could be an implantation bleeding based on her computation. I took Duphaston . On my 28th day, I am supposed to test. I did and it was negative. One more week has passed and I still do not have my period. That kept my hopes high. I have regular periods and never missed or got delayed. But after 4 more days, I got my period. I think I was overreacting then and decided to stop with the work ups. I need to prepare myself emotionally and not to mention financially. I was at that time on the state of being devastated as well as emotionally unstable -- probably caused by the pills that I took.


We stopped with the work ups (for the meantime) but never with the work ups of the GUY up above. We no longer stress ourselves. But we never, not even a millisecond that we stopped praying and hoping for having a baby. We are planning to resume the fertility work up anytime on November or December. We trust in the Lord but we know that sometimes, science goes along with this belief, at least for our case.


18 comments:

cez said...

hugs to you!

i've been there but not as long as you have. you see, i was diagnosed with pcos 9 yrs ago, long before i got married. aside from that, i also have a retroverted uterus. plus, i'm on the heavy side. so i knew then that i will have a difficult time conceiving.

when i got married, hubby and i tried to conceive the natural way. but like you, every missed period became very frustrating when it gave a negative pregnancy test. i underwent fertility workups. i had to take clomid for 5 cycles (i stopped on my own when i read that taking it for more than 6 cycles puts you at risk for more ovarian cysts). my ovulation (every month) was closely monitored. and when i did ovulate, my ob would give us the go signal to do the deed. but despite all these, we didn't get lucky.

we decided to stop and leave everything to God. 3 days after we celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary, i tested positive. we were very excited and thankful!

by the way, we found out that i also have endometriosis when i gave birth. my ob kept saying that it was a miracle i conceived.

although i don't know if anything i shared would be helpful to you, i do hope that you keep faith. i'll include you in my prayers. God bless!

Peachy said...

you'll have God's gift to you in his time. Remember that good things come to those who wait. For the mean time, enjoy muna kyo ni hubby :)

Edralin Nanquil said...

hi sis! just read your post. Actually, my bro has same scenario like u b4. And dami nilang check up & all. They took vitamins din. Pero wala prin. Bigla na lang last year, hindi nila expect positive na wife nya! Tagal din. But now meron na slang 1 month baby girl! Well, in short, darating din yan. Just be positive & be happy always! =)

Arlene said...

cez and eds -- thanks so much for sharing these inspiring stories! whenever i hear of stories just like our case, parang nabubuhayan ako.

peachy -- yup, i know in HIS own perfect time...

got to be positive about this para maging POSITIVE din maging result ng PT. :)

williamaanne said...

Hi! you got an interesting blog! yah ur right it's kinda painful whenever we fail on trying! I can relate to ur story, we're also TTC. Well, it come in HIS time. wud u mind if i'll ask u to link me up? i'll do the same! tnx!

Jody said...

Hi Arlene! I have gone through fertility work-ups as well and I can imagine the tremendous stress emotionally, physically and even financially. It takes a lot of commitment with you and your husband. I went through the same phase so i can totally relate with you. And those questions from friends and family are just annoying. There were even times before that i don't even want to go out with my husband's friends cause all of them have kids and kami na lang ang wala. It pains me also whenever I do get negative results. I even went for hysterogram which was really very painful. And imagine when I would have my injection of pregnyl to pop out my egg, i literally have to drag hubby for love making cause rupturing of the egg will happen within 48 hours! So stressfull. Nag-novena na rin ako sa lahat ng santo! But what am I trying to tell here is that there is really hope and no matter how cliche it is, yes, it would come at the perfect time from the Lord above. Just hang on. When it comes, it will become sweeter, I tell. Look at me now, have two daughters. The 2nd one is not even planned, God blesses us in miracles. By the way, I conceived with Margaux with no medications at all. It was our rest period from clomid and even other injectibles that time. We just did our thing! hehehe, lol!

Will pray for your little one to come down soon!

Jane said...

im sure you'll have your baby in the right time ...

mari said...

hi sis :) we're here for each other di ba? don't lose hope kasi God will reward us soon. in his right time. we just have to be patient for it... don't lose hope. palitan tayo. if ever this third cycle won't work naman for us, i'll have HSG this november and after that, we will rest muna.

goodluck to us and to all other TTCers :)

rita malijan said...

There is always hope and remember that there is a time for everything.

Arlene said...

mari- yep we'll be there for each other. sana mag work na ung sayo this cycle para wala ng HSG. In my case, that would be the next step din. Let's update each other as well as mirror that strength that we both have para sa quest natin for that special gift. tnx! :)

atching rita - as always, thanks for the encouraging words. i know that you would always be there for me.

Arlene said...

williamaanne - i read your blog too and parang you are also one of the member of TTC wives. anyway, it's good to know that we can always get strength and encouragement from each other. will link you up din :)

jody - thanks a million for sharing your story. ganyan sana mangyari sa min. i don't mind kahit magkasunud pa or twins and ibigay. hehehe!

to all my friends and family who are including us in their prayers, thanks so so much! :)

Darlene said...

SAd to hear about your story but you know what?There's nothing impossible to GOD just keep hoping and praying you'll gonna have one soon!

Happy weekend!

Minette said...

Hi sis

Just read your article. Both you and your husband are kind and loving person. And I know that you will be blessed with an "angel" in God's time. God Bless :)

william said...

hi arlene, my blog will not be available for this week or so, got some issue to sort out, i'll let u know when it'll be accessible. tnx!

Che said...

Hi! Just bloghoppin' (saw your link at Jane King's site).

I hope this could help. Everything happens at the right time. In His time. You and your husband will be blessed with little ones. I'm sure with more prayers and a stronger faith in Him will give what your heart really desires.

I'll include you in my prayers. :) God bless.

My World said...

i can certainly feel the same pain as you do. we're on the same boat. we have done everything possible(from the simplest to the most scientifically advanced method there is available here in the US) in the almost 8 years of our marriage and I must mention that everything's normal as far as the work-ups done on both of us.

we're leaving it all up to HIM. i believe in miracles and it will come in HIS own time.

let's enjoy the life we have. celebrate our love and be happy we found each other(our husbands).

keep your faith and believe!

~juliana

Latief Pakpahan said...

up date your blog please :)

jean said...

hi arlene...

i went to my ob-gyne awhileago and told me i have symptoms of endometriosis. naku, naalala ko ang blog mo. i'll have my TV ulrasound tomorrow and sana negative ang results. I read kasi na endometriosis can cause infertility. natakot ako bigla, u know naman single pa naman ako. huhuhu....